Thomas John Huden

Well, here we are my freind. Our first Christmas and YOUR birthday and your here..your always here..your never really gone from my mind, so what's changed? Still remember back in the days when you and the guys would be creeping up on the season (christmas/birthday) and the excitement would build and we would spend the holiday with our families and then usually later on Christmas nights we would meet up somewhere to buy you a few beers and celebrate your Day. Then came those crazy freinds/girlfreinds/wives Christmas parties at Matt's for about a decade, still remember the concoction you made in the early 80's we named "Green Death" that had me literally doing back flips and you chewing on an styrofoam ice chest Oh Boy! There's an old Rod Stewart song that had the lyrics in it that goes like..."my dad said we looked ridiculous, but boy we broke some hearts". Amen to youth! You'd be so proud of your family, Tom, as they've had some rough sledding the last half year,but they've added 2 new little ones to the brood, AND THAT I KNOW makes you happy and proud. I miss the times you and I would be chatting it up at a bar, down at the oil dock, at Adams News and just catching up and laughing. Remember when you got me the job on Andy's Tug Boat in 1980, I needed that job financially and spiritually, as it was one of those times in our lives you look back and realize a new door opened and I got to tell you without your recommendation, it probably would not have happenend. In a way, you were always looking out for me and yes, that's what freinds do, but Thanks for going the extra mile with me. Losing freinds, to death or to ingnorance is the hardest thing one will suffer in life, as your heart breaks because you hold on to the great memories too tight. I'm so fortunate that our paths crossed in our lives and you leaving us showed how we must treasure these days we spend together cause the clock is tick, tick, ticking for us all. Some day I too will shuffle off this mortal plane and with a nod from the Good Lord I can sifts through the clouds, get on that path, enter the gates and I hope to see you sitting on a big boulder with your dumb smile, saying...."What took ya, buddy"? Until then, I'll hold on to your memory, cause I got A LOT of living to do and every once in a while give me a sign, your peeking in, keeping an eye on me(us). Whatever it is, I'll understand it and know it's just my buddy Tom tapping me on the shoulder, saying It's ok, and YOU miss me too!

Today my heart is full.  Daddy since you have been gone you have had 2 more grand babies!   You knew Steph and Barry were pregnant and they had a beautiful baby girl. Guess what?!  Your only boy had a baby today.  They found out they were pregnant about 5 months after you passed.  We were all hoping that the baby would be a boy because of course we wanted the Thomas Huden name to be passed on, but God had other plans.  They had a girl.   Guess what, that sweet baby girl was born today over a month early and her weight is 4lbs 2 oz and she has a beautiful dimple in her chin.    Does that remind you of anything?   It's werid, like history repeating itself.   That baby is just 4oz bigger than I was daddy.   They named that baby Mia Louise :)    Next best thing to you was Grandma Huden.    Oh if that's not enough, today is December 4th, Uncle Glenn's birthday!     See you are in your hearts our thoughts every minute of the day.  I love you daddy. Miss you like Crazy!  Big Bug

Daddy I'm 35 today.  Today should be a happy, joyful time, but today I just can't get my mind off you.  My 1st birthday without you.  I keep thinking about you 35 years ago.  What emotions did you have when I was born?  Were you worried and scared for my life or even moms?  Or did you have a greater hope that everything would be fine?  Did you get to hold me right after I was born or was I wisked away quickly too the Children's hosptial?  When you held me for the very first time... what did you feel?   Were you ever scared that I wouldn't make it?  Did you visit the hosptial often when I was cooking in the incubator?  I should know these little details shouldn't I?  I can't imgaine going through that at a such a young age and newly married.   

I love you dad.  That's all I can say. I miss you with all my heart and I think about you every single day.  The little poem Jacque wrote on her birthday, I wish the same thing.  

Love,
Big Bug 

P.S.  I'm glad I got your butt chin. 

One Wish

27 candles on my birthday cake.
But only one wish I must make.

Perhaps shoes, earings or concert tickets.
No, it will not be wasted on such trinkets.

If this wish could bring you back
I'd do anything, just you ask.

Deep down I know a wish will not bring
you to me.

So for my one wish, I wish, in heaven
thinking of me you'll be.


Thanks to my family and friends, this birthday has been wonderful so far! I sure do miss my daddy dearly, but I know he is always with me.

Daddy,

I miss you.  It's been 66 days since you've been gone, 68 days since I last laid my eyes on you, last time I kissed you, last time I heard you say, " Love you Big Bug".......  My heart is aching for you and I'm having trouble facing the fact that you are no longer here.  Yes, I do have comfort that you are in heaven...but that doesn't help me at this moment, I want you physically here, I want to see your eyes smile with the "grandma huden" crinkles in the corners.... I want to go back a few years and play catch with you again, so I can cherish those moments just a bit longer...hey..kinda like the last scene in Field of Dreams when he got to play catch with his father again....oh gosh......  (by the way...whenever I watched that scene ALL these years I always thought of you and your dad at that scene..picturing you and your daddy playing catch)

The way you would aim the mit and give me that nod of approval when I would throw right too it.   You were so excited when I started pitching in little league, and every season you seemed to remind me of the time when you threw a no-hitter when you were 12/13.  I loved that story, the way your eyes would twinkle everytime you told it to me.  Thank you so much for being there all my softball years, all the games that you went to...cheering me on...making sure I kept my "Dobber Down" everytime I got up to bat.  When I forgot my cleats at the Pilchuck Tourney.... you went to the nearest Big 5 and bought me new cleats before the game.... sweet daddy.  I love you so much.   

I feel empty without you.

Why does it have to be so hard.

Come back.

Every morning I wake up and wish it was all a bad dream.  Then my heart is crushed when I realize it wasn't.


Now that you are gone... I feel much comfort in being around your buddies.  Being with them, around them..feels like you are here.  They made the BEST slideshow...... I must admit I've watched it like 50 times so far.... laugh and cry and repeat.   I love the old photos especially.  I love seeing the daddy I never knew... before I was born.  I especially like the stories that your friends tell of your youth... it's so exciting to me.   I honestly think it should be the next "Wonder Years" show.... would be a number #1 hit in an instant.  Your friendship with all those guys is amazing daddy.  They love you so much...and that's what feels good.  To hear them, see them cry..see the pain in their eyes that you are gone. Seeing them laugh and smile when they tell stories.   Makes me realize how important you were in their eyes.   Makes me so proud of you, what a good friend you were.    

What an amazing man you are daddy.  I wish I could have told you that.....

Jayson is missing you.  He is taking it pretty hard.  Everyday...and even at this VERY moment he is working on your "shrine" .... he is making this thing of legos...with all his favorite keepsakes and memories he has of you.  The last dollar that you gave to kaylee, a mini leatherman, one of your golf balls... squished pennies you always got him... he wants to treasure it all.  He keeps rebuilding it and rebuilding it to make it perfect...and he makes sure to show us everytime.  It's so precious.  Thank you for being a good grandpa to my children daddy.... I will never let them forget you.  Khloee too...  before you passed you were so so so adamant about getting those hard back childrens books to read to Khloee.  I have some now, and I've been reading them to her, telling her how you wanted her on your lap to read them to her. 

I hope this helps me in the grieving process...maybe writing to you will help a little :-)   I have to go to moms now, she wanted Jayson and Kaylee to spend the night tonight.  Jayson is excited... he loves to look through all your tools, and be in the garage.  He said it makes him feel closer to you.

I'll write again.  I love you my sweet daddy.

Big Bug

I remember when we spent Christmas with my Uncle Tom and Louise and all the kids.  I was oldest of Unclel Tom's brother Harold but I remember Glenn and Tommy being the characters they remained.  My only regret is not going to SEMA with Tommy this past year.  Getting the call and just not being able to put it together to go.  If I would have known it was going to be my last invite I'm sure the result would have been different.  Going to miss you Tommy.

Cousin Joe

A week after my daddy passed my kids were being extremely too quiet for my liking one night so I went upstairs to investigate.. When I peeked in my sons room , I saw them talking softly to each other (which is a rarity in this house) and building something together. When they realized I was in the room they looked up at me with big excited eyes and showed me what it was, I could barely hold the tears back, you see, since my dad passed last week, I've been worried about my daughter Kaylee, because she was dealing with her grandpas death in a way not normal to me; no sadness that I could see, no crying, no questions, it was concerning but I figured it was just her way of dealing with it, but it upset me too that she wasn't sad.

Anyway,when Jayson held up this little box so proudly and seeing Kaylee's smiling face was priceless so heart warming. Jayson then told me that Kaylee came into his room with the dollar bill, and told him it was the last dollar grandpa had given her and she asked him if he would make something special for her to put it in so she could keep it safe forever.

I guess kids just deal with grief in their own way, and that's okay. I love my kids. They loved their grandpa.

Oh... my dad was famous for paying us kids to do stuff... when we were little he would pay a penny to pick the lint out of his belly button haha or rubbing his forehead, we loved playing doctor with kitchen utensils. When we got older Jacque was the one to always pluck his ear hairs or pluck his out of control eyebrows. A week before my dad passed away my husband was nice enough to take kids to grandpa and grandpas so I could get a blog done without any interuptions. While they were there Kaylee was playing "waitress" and was bringing my dad dinner upstairs...and my daddy "tipped" her a dollar, that because her last grandpa dollar. 

Love you daddy, thank you for being a fun, loving grandpa.  I will NEVER let them forget you.  Missing you crazy!

Tom ( Pa ).... what memories come to mind when I think of the guy who I looked up to as a second father for most of my childhood. I sat here trying to ponder one witty , hysterical/meaningful memory and when I went to choose ..I just cant. There are so many moments and memories that I share with the Hudens/Tom..you may call me the tag along, but id like to think of myself as part of the family. Every time Jacque and I would be together or id spend one of my many nights tucked up on my very own sleeping pad :) ( which i believe was purchased just for me ) we would always giggle and laugh at ALL the funny things her dad would say or do. I always thought to myself " Man, I wish my dad was like Tom, I hope she knows how lucky she is" and the truth is, they all knew how lucky they were.I used to remember feeling proud that this guy who was LOVED by everyone was MY best friends dad. I have never been in the prescence of such love in my entire life. Tom had a way of making you feel the love, he radiated with it. Didnt matter who you were where you came from or if you just happened to be standing next to him in line at the grocery store..you couldnt help but smile. He always made me feel like another one of his children. He was always excited to see me, always had a word of advice or a recommendation on what movies to see " National Treasure" being the top of his picks :). He and I also shared the love for food, which Im sure neither of us could physically hide. :) I admired him and loved him , for so many reasons. The way he loved his family especially his kids, and his "kook"( inside joke) of a wife Julie that you also cant help but love, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about a meal/food.., the way he would always tease me about my many stories Id tell and playfully throw in " And didnt Michael Jackson come over for dinner too?!", the way he used to pick us up or drop us off from school in his Adams News van wearing his safety goggles or yelling random thoughts as we opened the door to climb out just to get a giggle from us girls, the way he used to laugh at my jokes ..even if they were terrible. He was everyones biggest supporter. In Toms eyes you could really never do wrong, even if he was mad it wouldnt last for long. ( even if you acicidentally laughed so hard at Jacque wearing his glasses and the lens popped out, that you might have tinkled on Julie and Toms WHITE duvet cover) all he could do was find the humor.

After I heard of his passing, all I could do not to cry was to think of all the many reasons Tom made us smile and laugh..uncontrollably. It wasnt until the other night as Jacque and I were casually talking, she struck me with a memory that I had forgotten, one that now will forever be imprinted in my mind of the very first day I met one of the greatest men I will ever have known.

Jacque and I's conversation:

Jacque: "He loved you so much. He loved to tell me of the first time you two met. We were at a feild trip at the museum of History and Industry. He said you were wearing some silly shoes (addidas flip-flops) and you were trailing behind...but, he walked with you the whole time."

That was Tom radiating his love, that love I always felt. And those are the memories I will keep and treasure forever. I love you Pa. Forever in my heart. xoxoxo

" where ya goin?"
- Meech

As lads, with a couple bucks in our pockets we would ride the stingrays down to the hobby shop to find that latest Matchbox car.  We always needed to have some money left over for a burger and shake at the grocery across the street.  Life was good.

In our early teens, we went on our first camping adventure on our own to Blake Island.  We both had Sterno stoves for cooking but by the second nights dinner Tom needed something more substantial.  He disappeared for half an hour only to return with takeout salmon from Tillicum Village.  Camp food had stepped up a notch.

In our later teens, a trip to Hood Canal to harvest (poach) oysters.  Not enough money for the return ferry trip, we loaded 4 soggy guys, one wet dog and a couple bags of oysters (minus one he ate raw on the beach) into Rocky's VW for the long and smelly ride  home.  Shortly after arriving home, he had them shucked, battered and fried ready for comsumption.  Best oyster I ever had.

A couple years later he joined me at Fort Know for a short period.  Good pizza and lots of beer to fuel hours long games of RISK.  The man was a great board gamer.  Food and friendship was a common theme.

He was proud to be a lefty, more creative he told me.  He is the only person I knew to use scotch tape to train their cowlick.  One time he scored a basket for the other team.  He was never going to be an Olympic swimmer, but who would?  All the qualities you want in a life long friend and yes, my Best man.  Peace be with you Udo Sneer.

Boomer

 

So many memories to choose from but if anyone has ever talked to my dad, then the topic of food probably came up in some way. I am blessed with having shared his passion for food and cooking. 

For me, it started when I came back from college in Los Angeles and began watching The Food Network show, Everyday Italian with Giada De Laurentiis – my favorite chef. Italian food has a special place in my family’s heart, being that my dad’s mother was full Italian. I remember trying chicken cacciatore for the first time, the two of us in the kitchen and of course mom was the always helpful cleanup crew.

Once we sat down to taste this new recipe, a wave of wholesome comfort and goodness filled me up from head to toe. How wonderful it is to prepare and share a meal with loved ones. The satisfaction of a recipe turning out great became a awesome reward with every recipe we tried of Giada’s (which are just fabulous) and the grocery shopping and cooking alongside my dad made it something special that we shared.